My Fears..

I fear of being a failure.
I fear of letting down my family.
I fear that I won’t make it .
I fear that I won’t meet to their standards.
I fear that I won’t make them proud.
I fear all of this.

I fear that I lost the one guy that really loved me.
I fear that I blew my chances.
I fear that he could’ve been something.
I fear that I let him go to soon.
I fear all of this.

I fear that I don’t know what I’m doing.
I fear that I’m too average.
I fear that I don’t fit in very well.
I fear that I won’t be so successful.
I fear that I won’t make something of myself.
I fear that I don’t know what I do best.
I fear that I might be a screw up.
I fear all of this.

Last but not least, I fear he doesn’t see me.
I fear he’ll never know that I‘m here.
I fear that its never going to change.
I fear that I’m be the friend forever.
I fear that I’m never going to have that chance.
I fear that he could be the one with the perfect kiss.
I fear that he thinks nothing more between us.
I fear the he doesn’t see me as the one of his dreams.
I fear that he’ll make a mistake with her, that he’ll never be mine.
I fear all of this, and I don’t know if I’ll ever over come it.

Goals to accomplish by 21

These are my goals I want to accomplish by the age of 21,
(got 2 years to do it.)


* Graduate High School. (June 12, 2010)
* Go to New York.
* Go to my dream college, Northeastern (August 30, 2010)
* Finish writing my book.
* Write my own song on the piano.
* Have a memorial night. (May 26, 2012)
* Be in a protest. (10/25/2011 - HDM protest against an abortion clinic.)
* Road Trip - Anywhere
* Dance under the moonlight. (May 19, 2012 @2am)
* Do a dance performance in public.
- Maybe with HDM (4/26/12)
* Make someone's day. (Mari's)
* Be in a food fight.
* Learn how to cook one meal
* Go to a big music festival
* Write a letter to your future self.
* Buy myself a printer.
* Try something completely new.
* Have a wild crazy day/night.(1/14/2012. C.C.)
* Have the perfect kiss.(May 19, 2012)

* And with any hope.....
buy my favorite book that i don't have.
"Love You Forever" (July 7, 2012)

Maybe not in that order but yeah.
If you guys want, you can help me or join along.

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My First April in Mexico (Part 1)

"Oh my god, i can't believe I'm actually in Mexico".
These words are the ones i would say everyday that i was there. I couldn't believe that i was there, because the last time i was there was about 8 years ago. We haven't gone lately because we haven't any money or time. We would always say "there's always next year". This year was important for us to go, it was my cousin's Rigo wedding. And we couldn't miss that event, we just couldn't.



The wedding was beautiful and hot. To us, as family of the groom, we had a lot of work to do. Especially the work of feeding the guest, and that's a lot of work. We had to organized the plates, hand them out, get them something to drink and then clean it all up. plus we had two different kinds of plates going around, so we had to remember who wanted what. It got my dizzy.

After we were sure that everyone has ate, we started the traditions. We started with the candy dance, then the bread dance, and the bottle dance (which my baby cousin went in to join). Following was La vivora (snake dance) for her, then him. After was the toss of the groom in the air, literally in the air. Then we had the toss of the bouquet for the girls. The garder for the guys, (which my cousin Danny caught). So in a couple of years my cousin Danny might be next. So the last thing we did was the money dance, and the present thing.

As the party started to die out the bride and groom decided to gt a head start to the honeymoon. so we all started to clean up around two of the morning. Then some laughter came along as we were getting ready to sleep. My cousin Javy was going to sleep with us in the same house but had to get the mattress out from inside. As he's getting it out, it got stuck on the door way. He try's to bend it to get it through, it bended to far and falls on my aunt that was deep asleep. She woke up a bit and waving her arms trying to get it off her. She's freaking out and Javy is all "SORRY TIA SORRY" She's like "watch boy in the morning", he responds "yes tia, in the morning, SORRY TIA SORRY" We all were laughing so much, it was so hard to hold it in. My sister had to get out of the house because she didn't want to laugh aloud that it would wake up my aunt more. Man, it was funny.

To be continue.....

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High School . . .

High school...

Two words that can be described in many different ways.
Good (for the smart ones)
Hell (for the ones that hate it)
Torture (for those that get stress)
Heaven (for those with hormones)
And some just say that you have to get through it.

High school is also full of different things such as, drama,
cliques, competition, and even a bit of romance. I believe that
if high school didn't have these things, then it just wouldn't be

High school.
You need some craziness, fight, loudness, everything.
You need the love-triangles that you don't want to be in.
You need the fights that are for stupid reasons.
You need the stupid seniors that can't get over themselves.

I'm not going to say that I'm just from this part of high
school. I'm one that try's to avoid drama but it still come. I'm
not into competition and romance can wait. The cliques... well...
I'm everywhere in there.
I'm with the fresas (the girly ones),
The punks ones ( my rock fans),
The smart ones ( my educational side),
And the lazy ones ( my best friends).
I'm just an in-between normal girl.

You may think that your high school is different than mine
but if you really look at it they're all the same one way or another.
Plus high school without just one of these things, it just wouldn't be high school.
Especially if there is no drama, it just wouldn't be right.


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